The 365 Project {2020}: October

Today is the second day of November and October already feels like months ago. It’s a windy and bitter cold day and it still looks like quintessential fall in New England outside, which makes it hard to believe that just a couple weeks ago we were in sunny, hot Charleston packing up our house for the big move. It really feels like we jammed a whole year into one single month.

This October we sold our house in Charleston, said goodbye to family and friends, moved and closed on our new house in Southern Maine, started new schools, celebrated birthdays (to include turning FORTY) and of course Halloween!

October was also the first month since starting the 365 Project in January, that I failed to photograph each day of the month. And not because I forgot or because I wasn’t inspired that day to pick up my camera. On October 15th, my oldest son and I headed in our car for our sixteen hour drive from Daniel Island, South Carolina to Southern Maine, which became more like 18-20 hours of driving. We were on a mission and because it was just the two of us (my youngest flew days later with grandma), my camera stayed packed away underneath a huge pumpkin in the the passenger seat. I felt guilty in the moment (and still do) wanting to capture many moments of our drive, but instead of capturing with my professional camera we documented our trip on a handy little disposable camera! I’m sad I don’t have digital photos of our trip, but I’m excited to develop the film soon like I did as a kid after trips in the 90’s.

I’ll always remember this October of 2020, one of the most excitingly stressful months this year.

Here’s my thirty-one (really thirty) days of October 2020…

The 365 Project {2020}: September

September was tough.

Tougher than I had hoped and definitely tougher than I could have imagined.

On September, 18th we said goodbye to our beloved pup, Myrtle, who has been by my side for fourteen years.  When I look back at this month, I don’t think I’ll remember the stress of trying to navigate my son starting first grade virtually or packing for our move 1000 miles away in October, I don’t think I’ll remember trying to balance working from home and teaching a 7 year old or how hot it still was in Charleston even though it was late September. What I will remember is the moment I knew it was time to let her go, the overwhelming sadness and guilt, the pain of watching my boys break down and sob after she passed, and the void we all felt not having her with us. In those moments, it was really hard to pick up my camera and continue the project. But because of my commitment to finish and photograph each day, we will forever have intimate photos of last few weeks with her. And that is worth it all.

The 365 Project {2020}: August

What can I say about August 2020…

It was my hardest month thus far since starting my 365 Project.

I struggled BIG time.

Most days this month, I found myself almost forgetting to bring out my camera as the day drew to an end.

It was the first time since starting my business (almost 3 years ago) that I felt like I fell into a rut. I lacked the desire to be creative at home. I've always struggled with anxiety and the lack of focus when my world around me feels so unorganized-and this month it really showed. I struggled to find a balance between being a stay at home mom and running a business full time and boy was August the month that almost broke me.

But even with all the uncertainty surrounding me (and so many others) this month, I really tried to focus on the little things. The simple everyday things that sometimes we miss or forget to appreciate. The things that make a house a home or the moments that seem mundane, but we know we'll miss when they're gone. Maybe August was so hard because I know September will most likely be just as hard, if not harder.

So goodbye August 2020. You pushed me to my limit, but even though I lacked motivation to document you this month- I'm glad I pushed through because I'll forever cherish both the bad and good days of 2020!

Here’s my thirty-one days of August 2020…